Well! Haven't blogged in a while! Probably because I've literally done NOTHING since monday. Today is New Years Eve =] sjflkjflsjglj lj I'm. So. Excited!! Today is me and Rupert's one year together =] and we are jollying off to London tonight to see the same people as last year - Harriet, Alex and Poppy also, Orchid and Melissa are joining us =] oh my gosh I'm so excited! Last year was fantastic. We all met at the winter wonderland in Hyde Park and went on a few rides, bought warmed cider and then got the tube to Notting Hill; Went to Tescos and bought lots of wine and then went to one of those fenced in gardens in the middle of the street.....you know the ones you get in Notting Hill. Anyway there was a tree house in it and we climbed up and drank all our wine then went to the pub, then to an Iranian shisha place and spent midnight there. =] it was great! Hopefully this year will be just as good =]
At the moment I'm waiting for my new car to arrive AND waiting for Rupert's motorbike to arrive. So yeah. Exciting! Then I'm going to Mahogany to see Rupert and try and pester one of his work mates to cut my fringe. *sigh* Pictures and more tomorrow xx

XO

ksafjdklgjskldj I'm so tired!!!!!
Went to Bristol today at 10am after about 5 hours sleep and a slight hangover due to Carmens "dinner party" (which, was amazing btw even though there were only 6 people there =] we're so cool, we took a picture of ourselves because we knew you would be jelous...)

Anyway yeah, Bristol was pretty awesome... Rupert put the deposit down on the bike and it looks lovely (and smells lovely? =] ) Marty (the man selling the bike) was sooooo nice! he was proper west country... accent and all!

I love the reflection in the glass =]

Unfortunately, Harriets dinner party has been moved to tomorrow (boo) and now we cant go, but Rupert has gone up anyway to see people tonight,.. which I am very jelous about... to the point of being stropy. In fact I AM being stropy about it but meh.
Instead, tonight I''m going to see Nine which I'm well excited about!!! I've wanted to see it for aaages!
Then I will sleep. Ah, sweet sleep!! thennn I have to up early again to go get my car from the garrage in Banbury.....FAR!

sleepsleep XO

So, christmas continued to be boring and on Boxing day I met with Carmen, Erika, Robbie and Joe at the Brazilian cafe...which appears to be becoming our "hang out" now =] This was nice. We went to he pub after and drank mulled wine and beer untill we felt all sleepy and drunk and by 4pm we all went our seperate ways. Lovely =]
Today I went for lunch with my parents, grandparents and auntie, uncle and cousins. It was hectic but YUMMY. I still feel so on edge around them because they all think I'm some drop-out loser who is a waste. Fml.
Rupert has decided to come home today instead of tomorrow as now tomorrow -as well as Harriets dinner party in the evening in London- we are going to Bristol in the day time to look at Ruperts new bike. Brumbrum=]
Tonight I'm planning on going to Carmen's house for her "birthday dinner party" (her birthday was ages ago, and she has spent all her food money on wine...I can see where this is going) hopefuly Rupert will be home in time so we can go together but I doubt he will tbh.
But untill Rupert gets home, I have two and a half hours of Come Dine With Me to keep me company =]
Win.

Loves XO

Why am I blogging on Christmas day I hear you ask.... well it's because I've done everything Christmasy that is required of me and now I'm bored. I want to go out! =[ I might even have to do college work aaaaaaa fail.
This year I got a DVD and some Homebase vouchers. Oh how well my parents know me... but to be fair I am getting a new Bez in a week or two. So, a day and a half down and a day and a half to go then everything is back to normal...
I might buy myself a late Christmas present....I'm starting to dislike the ring on my left hand. It needs replacing... with this motherfucker from Tiffany and Co.:

Merry Christmas to me...

Today I have decided to learn French. ANNDDD I have to decided to expand my boobie tattoo... when i have the money x

XO

!! I forgot to mention the dress I bought...
It's like the Jonathan Saunders one I wanted but it was £35 rather than £350.

WIN =]

Christmas Eve? Yeah, Whatever...

At 5am this morning when I was trying to sleep I realised that Christmas has become so comercialized! Nowadays it's all about stores using dirty little techniques to make you think you're being festive, when infact you're just giving them money. Today on the radio I heard that this Christmas Eve - the average spent is a million pounds a minute in the UK. Wowzers. I'm pleased to say that this year the famfam aren't really doing any presents. Just presents for the kids... and now there are only 3 kids in my family because we've all grown up. Christmas is no longer about celebrating the birth of the sweet little baby Jesus - not that I give a fuck about Jesus - Derren Brown is a better magician man than Jesus ever was. We should celebrate the birth of Derren Brown - Derren Brown should be God....Don't even get me started on God. This sounds like I'm being ignorant but I promise I'm not. I know the religion that has been forced upon me backwards and I think it's a load of Bollocks. I suppose it's a good idea to have a book that states the rules of life but whatever, I couldn't care less about it and I also don't believe a word. Challenge me. I dare you.
Anyway. Yesterday was LOVELY. Several people dressed as bananas (including my bf =]) and lots of fake plastic snow. Yoga balls and a bouncing area. Incence, tea lights, fake presents, a raffle and smoking inside.... what more could you expect from Joe Wilson =] There were, however, some people (not to name any names) who left because they are too up their own arses to appreciate a kind gesture and to appreciate that it doesn't matter where you are as long as you have a good time with freinds you haven't seen in months. So Thank You Joe =] I loved it! although, it was THEEE PLACE (if you were the coolest of the cool) to have your 15th birthday party when we were younger, and this made me feel like I was about 14... and at a "disco"... but in a really good way =] Here are some pics from the event...

Best Picture \/

This is why I Love him \/ hahaha

Erika is backkk =]

Oh Dear, well, Christmas is tomorrow.. oh yay. I think I will just drown myself in red wine and watch stupid films. I'll just have to stick it out untill the 27th. when I get my life back again.

Rupert left for home today after going to work.. still drunk and then he was given more alcohol at work haha. So when he got home he was pretty tipsy =] ... and proceeded to leave Orchid an amazing voicemail message about her "Franco-Chinese bag" hahaha <3

Yesterday made me happy =]

Today I am happy.

Happy happy happy =]

Lets go find the wine....

Peace XO

P.S. Get well soon Mel, big love xxx

ALLLRIITTEEE?!
Hope y'all are good I'm so glad Melissa has joined in with the blogging fun =] welcome my child...
So haven't blogged in a while (well, one day ha!) but I haven't really done anything tbh. Yesterday me and the famfam went to see more famfam and tbh I wish I hadn't bothered. All I got was an ear bashing from a million different directions and by the end of it I was just like well,... fuck this. Then we came home and Rupert got back pretty much at the same time as us. BUT THEN! we discovered the AWESOMENESS of The Christmas Lectures on Ch4. Rupert and I devised an amazing drinking game where every time the lesbian/loner/secret s'n'm neo nazi (the lecturer) said "plant" or "the 300 million year war" we had a drink.... 4 glasses of wine and a pizza later I was soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo happy. ^.^
Not to mention my early Xmas present from Rupert:

=]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]] eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!! I'm going to wear them to Joe's party tomorrow =]

Today was good, had a nice catch up with Carmen. We went to town and just talked for hours. Then chilled with Rupert oooooooooooo he's buying a motor bike =] how exciting!! My baby on a motor bike =] yum.

Tomorrow should bring some laughs and - not to mention some good photos!!!!!! It's Joe's parrttaayyy with rumors of Blind Date and a santas grotto! woopwoop!

Sorry this is shit but I swear I actually depress myself on purpose. I'm so tired as well, also I just did something really stupid. I knew it would piss me off/upset me.... but I did it anyway. Although, it did make me realise I'm better. I'm. Better. Than. You. So tbh GO FUCK YOURSELF. RAGE.

The day after tomorrow is Xmas Eve. So, depressing. Also it means I don't get to see Rupert for four whole days! The longest we've been apart in about 3 whole months. Crazy. But I think it will be nice, I imagine we will come back both very relaxed. I thought I was happy again, and I am....just not when I'm by myself. When I'm by myself all my sick horrid depressing thoughts come back into my head. And I can never talk about them. It's literally impossible. I really try sometimes but I've come to the conclusion that It's not good for anyone if I just spout depressing crap.

Hopefully one day I'll feel truly complete and I won't have horrid thoughts anymore. I know when this will happen. I know what will make me feel like that but I can't have it.

I've come to fucking love my blog. It's so nice to just be able to talk and talk and talk. And I know that noone ever reads this apart from occasionally Rupert or Orchid. If this blog were ever to get loads of followers.....which I can't see why it should, then I wouldn't do it anymore.

I need to get more work on here. Soon. This was ment to be a place to share my art work,... now it's just where I rant and scream. I'm so drained with my life atm. There is only one good thing <3.

Erika came back today =] I'm so glad. I've come to realise in her absence that she is one of my biggest rocks. God knows I've needed her more than ever recently. I'll see her tomorrow.

More pictures and news from the party tomorrow....

Big Love... XO

Sleep Is For The Weak. Crying Is For The Brave.

Learning to trust you is eating me up
Being with you makes me love you more
Thinking about it makes me want to die
Loving you makes me want to live

Why sleep now when you can sleep when you're dead? It's a waste of precious thinking time.

I wish I could sleep instead of think.

Mistletoe - The Rohypnol Of Foliage

So, it's that strange transitional time of year again that we call Christmas...
I realised today that Christmas Eve is in 4 days so I've begun slowly drowning in dread. Oh God. Christmas is just horrid. This year is the first time I have truly been a scrooge. The boy is going home for the annual festivities but there is promise of a posh Christmas dinner on the 28th at Harriets house (Ruperts Friend. We've met a few times, frankly I'm surprised I've been invited- just shows that we are seen as one person now - cringe) ^.^
It's just hopeless presents, and relitives that are slightly overly fakely happy because "it's Christmas". Then the evening of crap animated films and then once its over theres the awkward few days untill new years where noone really knows what to do and all my parents advise is "relax" I dont want to effing relax! I'm bored! I want my life back!
BUT THEN it's New Years =] and it's all different. The air feels crisp, instead of just fucking cold, and with it comes promise of a fresh start and the fantastic feeling of knowing that people are willing to forgive and forget, give second chances etc. As a person (as opposed to what, i dont know?....a leper?), every New Years there is just relif that I've actually MADE IT to another year and there are new prospects ahead.
I'm sure I'll let y'all know how it goes this year. It also happens to be me and ruperts one year. Man thats gone quickly, we've both changed so much and gone through alot too. But it's all goodtimes =] x

Today I've been checking out Red Herring... I want this!!!..

I WILL. Have. This. Bag.
Btw chicas, about me changing.... it's on its way... it's coming. I'm planing it in the depths of my brain.
Why are there so may things I want in my life? So lost! I want to be everything!! But I can't be =[
Gah!

Loves XO

Hearts For Diamonds <3

He's a diamond =]
Everyone should go to AtomcBurger, it's amazing
OM NOMNOM

"No pets in the laundrette, Dot is very particular"

Why is everything so annoying today?!
I need to get off my lazy ass and change my whole life.
The only good thing about anything is my boy. And I'm even scared of loosing him!
Why is everything so shit. The World we live in lies. I lie.
I don't want to be me.
Things change from today. I've felt like this for a while. Every now and then I decide that my whole life needs a revamp. And now is one of those times. For a while I've wanted to change my name.... I don't know what to tho, something like....oh I don't know.
The old is gone. Things must progress. This blog will change.
This isn't me.

Gaylords.

Good Morning

Bleuuughhhhhhhhh.
I need:
A job
A new car
Money
Not to have a headache
Not to be such a freaking ejit.

Bad morning. Fail.

I woke up this morning at 7.15 because thats when Rupert had to go to work,.. he kissed me goodbye and trotted off into the darkness and I went straight back to bed feeling happy... but annoyed that I had to wait untill 5.15 to see him again. I think that the plan for today is to just stay in bed, go to town at 5 and then meet rupert, go to his, chill out, watch tv, pretend to be sharks, and sing "Cluggle's got her hat on, she's coming out to play, Luggles got his hat on, hip hip hip hooray!" fucking couples. Makes me feel sick....^.^

Now I have the Tim Minchin song in my head "I woke up in the morning at eleven fourty seven and I cant believe I have to face the horror of another fucking day. The magnitude of my mid-morning erection simply mocks me in the subtle greeting of the day...." etcetc. Funny man he is. Although I think I missed out a line...meh.

I'm so happy this morning, but physically I feel like shhiiittt. Last night was boring, but it was nice to see Melissa and Ciaran and Adam. Rupert and I left early which was nice.

I'm so annoyed at my self. Why am I so stubborn?! It gets me into so much trouble. All the time. Causes argurments and everything. I think I will make this one of my new years resolutions.
If things aren't important... let it go!! Give in once in a while. Don't argue. Dang, I'm so annoying sometimes.

Currently watching The Age Of Love. Hate this show. It's so irritating but so addictive. Who would have thought getting a not so famous tennis player to fanny about and generally be a man slag with 20 different women infront of the whole of America and half of England would be so interesting for me?
This show embodies everything I hate about the whole idea that men can just - again - fanny about with women and thats ok. Because It's really not. Women have feelings. More feelings than men. Maybe thats the problem though? Any man who thinks its ok to fuck women over should be castrated...probably.....sometimes there is a genuine reason... for example, lonliness, distance...
I'm just gunna shut up.

SHHHHHHH!

XO

Oh oh!! Orchid is home today =]
Yay!

Blogs are so self indulgent... Secretly I rather like it.

^.^

The Begining

Ok. So, I've decided to start BLOGGING like SERIOUSLY. Because tbh my blog is boring right? I just sneezed 5 times in a row. Jeeze louise. I don't really know how to blog... a few of my friends blog and I guess it doesn't look that hard, and I'm sure it will get easier. Now, what to start with??

Last night I trecked up to London on the Oxford Tube to see A) Orchid and B) Basement Jaxx.

Oh.
My.

They were awesome!!!!! The dancing was especially cool =] and Orchid and I had a whale of a time! Although there were these two guys who were MASHED and I got elbowed twice in the head...which tbh is v. good for any gig. But I have concussion due to reasons I' sure I'll explain later - and it made it worse =[
There were 8ft robots, lots of booty shaking, costumes after costumes, and a ffffiiiiinee base... Allover - WIN! and afterwards orchid and I had to face the BLIZZARD that had hit London in the time that we were in the gig.
London at winter is the BEST place to be. LOVE. IT.

The first snow of the year =]

ME \/ Orchid \/


On the tube, we met four delightful middle aged women who had also been to see Basement Jaxx and they were DRUNK. It was hilarious! one of them told me that tomorrow (today) was going to be minus 24. I replied with "oh really? well if tomorrow is minus 24 then I will personally find you and build you your own snowman." =] My mission in life is to be like them when im old (old = anything after 20... my time is running out fast! only a year and a half of fun left)
Anyway, waking up this morning (I say morning, I really mean afternoon - 12.29) I am soooooo dizzy. This is probably due to being smacked in the head twice while recovering from concussion. THANKS GUYS. Bitchasses.
You may be wondering why I have consussion, well last Sunday I crashed my car. I got hit by a Taxi and then spun round and straight into a wall. During the cufuffle, I hit my head on the window next to me and everything about the crash for a good 30 seconds was delightful. Untill I realised that my bf in the passenger seat was screaming at me to break because there was an oncoming wall.

EPIC FAIL.

I breaked just in time... only hitting the wall slightly...*cough*
But yeah, my car - Bez is his name....sorry, WAS his name *sob* is definitly going to car heaven - A.K.A. the scrap yard. And hopefully I will get a new car around the new year... because I can't really get to college without one. (what a shame)
Having concussion has been quite fun, it's my friend now I think... well, it certainly did spice up a few winter days for me...I lost my phone and later found it in the fridge. My dad sent me out to buy a newspaper and I didnt take money... I tried to write an email to my tutor and just coundn't do it as I didnt seam to understand sentence structure anymore... not to mention being effing dizzy 24/7. my bf hasnt helped either tbh... he keeps making fun of my confusion and takes the piiissss. It's quite funny tho. =] I do love him =]

Right. So its 2.35 now. I have hourrrs to kill. I'm meeting Rupert (bf) at 7.20 at Mahogany (the hairdressers where he works) and then we are going to the Weatsheif (Pub) for drinks etc. and I thiiink that one of his workmates... her bf is in the band playing tonight, so that will be fun to see and meet new peeps =]

LOL just watched someone get married on Jeremy Kyle! Ohhh Jezza K, you are a rascle!

My word of the day is TWERK.
I leart this word yesterday and I really like it =] it means to dance in a certain way... involving shaking your bootay muchly =]

peace and love. XO

Dirty Blonde Is All The Range

Your Light Is Ultraviolet, Visions So Insane - Unraveling Through My Brain