ALLLRIITTEEE?!
Hope y'all are good I'm so glad Melissa has joined in with the blogging fun =] welcome my child...
So haven't blogged in a while (well, one day ha!) but I haven't really done anything tbh. Yesterday me and the famfam went to see more famfam and tbh I wish I hadn't bothered. All I got was an ear bashing from a million different directions and by the end of it I was just like well,... fuck this. Then we came home and Rupert got back pretty much at the same time as us. BUT THEN! we discovered the AWESOMENESS of The Christmas Lectures on Ch4. Rupert and I devised an amazing drinking game where every time the lesbian/loner/secret s'n'm neo nazi (the lecturer) said "plant" or "the 300 million year war" we had a drink.... 4 glasses of wine and a pizza later I was soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo happy. ^.^
Not to mention my early Xmas present from Rupert:

=]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]] eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!! I'm going to wear them to Joe's party tomorrow =]

Today was good, had a nice catch up with Carmen. We went to town and just talked for hours. Then chilled with Rupert oooooooooooo he's buying a motor bike =] how exciting!! My baby on a motor bike =] yum.

Tomorrow should bring some laughs and - not to mention some good photos!!!!!! It's Joe's parrttaayyy with rumors of Blind Date and a santas grotto! woopwoop!

Sorry this is shit but I swear I actually depress myself on purpose. I'm so tired as well, also I just did something really stupid. I knew it would piss me off/upset me.... but I did it anyway. Although, it did make me realise I'm better. I'm. Better. Than. You. So tbh GO FUCK YOURSELF. RAGE.

The day after tomorrow is Xmas Eve. So, depressing. Also it means I don't get to see Rupert for four whole days! The longest we've been apart in about 3 whole months. Crazy. But I think it will be nice, I imagine we will come back both very relaxed. I thought I was happy again, and I am....just not when I'm by myself. When I'm by myself all my sick horrid depressing thoughts come back into my head. And I can never talk about them. It's literally impossible. I really try sometimes but I've come to the conclusion that It's not good for anyone if I just spout depressing crap.

Hopefully one day I'll feel truly complete and I won't have horrid thoughts anymore. I know when this will happen. I know what will make me feel like that but I can't have it.

I've come to fucking love my blog. It's so nice to just be able to talk and talk and talk. And I know that noone ever reads this apart from occasionally Rupert or Orchid. If this blog were ever to get loads of followers.....which I can't see why it should, then I wouldn't do it anymore.

I need to get more work on here. Soon. This was ment to be a place to share my art work,... now it's just where I rant and scream. I'm so drained with my life atm. There is only one good thing <3.

Erika came back today =] I'm so glad. I've come to realise in her absence that she is one of my biggest rocks. God knows I've needed her more than ever recently. I'll see her tomorrow.

More pictures and news from the party tomorrow....

Big Love... XO