Hello guys and gals,
I would have blogged but it wouldn't have been worth it... I haven't done anything apart from mope all week... soooooooooooooooooo sick of having to go to work in the freezing cold for 6 hours a day then coming home and spending hours trying to warm up and then just falling asleep until I have to go back to work again.
BAH. I LOVE the Christmas period... honestly, I love snow and giving presents to people and mulled wine and fairy lights etc. but I can't stand Christmas day.... and it's getting closer and closer and I just really can't be arsed. I'm really sorry I'm moaning yet again, but I've just been in a foul mood the last few days and I don't want to tell anyone about it because it would just bore them. BAH.
Bring on the new year.... this year was awful. The only high points were getting into the course (and uni) of my dreams and the way I've changed as a person has been really good. I suppose that's due to the shit bits though,...family dying, friends moving to the other side of the world, being slapped round the face with my own love, having to move and be alone in a huge city etc. TBH I mean, obviously I wish none of it had happened but I've come good from it... it sounds really gay and cliche, but I did learn alot from it and by god have I grown up alot over the last year!!! Hopefully in the new year there won't be any hiccups... I really hope so, going to try and make sure that everything runs smoothly. aaannddd!! in 8 months time I will have my own bloody house with some lovely ladies. How exciting.

Ah. new tat coming soon guys, I'm really excited but really nervous... I can't wait to get it but I just KNOW that it will cause trouble between my parents and I. I'm nearly 20 for Christ's sake and they can't control me forever (which is what I keep telling myself) - not that they were ever controlling anyway!! I think my parents are probably the most relaxed I know. But I do understand where they are coming from... I'm SO different to anyone else in my family.... in my family everyone leaves school and gets a job at 18, or they set up their own  business. They are all kinda chavvy - a posh type of chav... kinda like Katie Price but with morals right? Whereas me?... I'm a purple lipstick wearing, tattooed, artsy fartsy, first person in the family to go to uni etc. I know I will always be their daughter and they will always love me and be proud of me no matter what but I think they are worried that I'm ruining myself by getting piercings and tattoos etc But it is only because they are not fully in tune with current popular culture.
I'm gunna get it because I am my own person, but I just don't want to offend or even embarrass them!!
Oh well, I'll update you on how it goes... and I'll post loads of pictures too!! =] I need to post a picture of myself soon... haven't done that in a while! Talking of posting pictures! - This cheerd me up no end when I came home from work today:

Took this picture on the way home... Oxford is beautiful in the snow =]

XOXO

P.S. I'll be more positive in the next post. Promise =] x

Xmas shopping was mighty successful yesterday!!

Gunna go out and try and find me this outfit^^ Its beautifulll.
XOXO

Death Note: What's My Name?

So I've had a really shitty day, it's been just so annoying...I woke up this morning and just didn't want to go to work so badly that the whole way to work I was just building myself up and making myself more and more annoyed about going to work. Then I got to work and it was fucking freezzzzingggg. Which, may I add, is illegal!!! I'm so close to phoning...trading standards..??? and just getting them in shit. Anyway, then I had like 3 fuck-arsed customers who to be honest just took the piss. It's those people who are so obnoxious and narcissistic and get some kind of power trip from getting you to do things, then re do them then changing their mind.... all while they have a smug look on their face and you can see that they are really enjoying you working to serve them. Argh.
Pfft. Rant over.

I'm really missing being creative at the moment. I have an injenious idea on how to get really cute and presonalised xmas presents for people that cost hardly anything!! I would spill the beans but there's at least 2 of you who are getting one so I can't ruin it!! =]
I have the next 2 days off from work thankkkk god!!!! I think I would go insane if I didn't. I finally am allowed to look nice for a few days rather than wearing a big blue fleece, no make-up and being covered in olive oil all day. I can wear real clothes yay!
This girl came into the shop today with the PERFECT coat. It was beautiful!!!! but I couldn't ask her where it was from as I was busy....so I'm going to scour the high st online stores and try and find it....aha

This makes me jelous. A) she has a beautiful dress B) she's beautiful C) she's in the coolest place ever!!!!!

DAMN

OX

Right!
Some pictures from James' paint party...

I was so lovely. It was like being at school again!! Having all my old friends in the same room at the same time, listening to music and.....just being happy and intoxicated haha.
The top photo is beautiful Tasha... with her new hair that I can't stand! (she knows this, so it's ok!)
Work was good yesterday, but SO COLD. you cannot imagin!! I swear it's illegal to make people work all day when it's like, minus2.
I've had such a brainstorm on what to give people for xmas today... I would tell y'all but a couple people who follow me will be getting one...
I'm so excited!! I can't wait to make them all =]]

XO

BamBam

Im home, in my pajamas, in my bed, watching the flinstones movie on me tv. AND  I don't have to move for a month. wwwwwweeeeeeeeeeeee
I start work tomorrow at 8.30am. OUCH. and I have a new boss... I hope he likes me!!!
I would tell you about my weekend but being comfy is distracting me...
I would show you photos from the last two nights but cba with getting out of bed.
Im so happy.
<3 xxxxxx

FREE

Now  that I have no work to do and no uni to go to....and I'm not going home untill Sunday.. I was freakishly bored today and decded to make a dress out of a size 18 vintage dress that I picked up in Camden for A POUND! Its not very interesting... but it's cute! ha.

I apologise for my roots, they're being sorted when I get back to Ox. I'm going darker baby, darrrkerrr... maybe even black!!!

XO

snow =]

Yay its snowing! I had a really really nive weekend with the boy. we went to the winter fair at hyde park and listened to a jazz band in the street for about and hour... and he bought me a rose. how nice. hahahah
im slightly going insame as i havent slept in a while... 3 deadlines in a week an a half so yeah... been working my arse off!! nearly finished though. just hope i actually pass them and dont get refered and fail!! wah!
here are some pictures as i cant talk anymore from lack of sleep x

Oxford st last saturday... lotttsss of people.

 Snow!!! its so snowy that you cant see the skyscrapers =]

 This is what i spent all of last night doing and its a piece of shit. my character design for lady madaline of usher.

I Must Admit I'm a Fruit Loop, Frankenstien With A Screw Lose

Some pictures of my outfit from the Wadham Queer Fest

It was soooo fun. There are more picture of facebook....
I can't wait till xmas... I got my job back at Fasta Pasta so I'll have money again!!! yayay
I have so much to do today and no time to write about it..
I've fannied about too much already this morning... watched Jeremy Kyle and did my nails.

Off to the British Library I go =]

OX

ZUP

WORK

Is driving me insane. fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck.
ahahha
this is what I'm doing atm
Trying to do it quickly as poss but its already taken 15 min waaaaaah gunna be up all night!!!!!

I think I fancy the one at top left
haha













Night darls x

FAce HEavy

Uni just feels like its part time... something I do inbetween seeing my friends and family and going out. Its like I do uni to earn time with my loved ones. I hope it becomes fun soon. I mean... I love the practical side of my course! and when I'm in London, the only time I'm happy is when I'm in the studio making something or going out with the girls in the flat. But the actual WORK side of the course is already killing me. Although, I've finally started to get my head around it all and I've made bloody good progress tonight. I love how I look like a fuckin art student when I'm in my overalls hahah it's like my dream come true.

God bless you Zane Lowe for getting me out of my 3 day long shitty mood. You do know how to cheer me up (Y)

I am so in love with Frankie from Lip service. I'de do her any day. She's so fit. hahhaha. I'm literally addicted to this series!!! There better be a second, because it's so addictive. It's completely ridiculous but isn't everything else?!

Well, thats me for the night.... off to hunt the web for images that "inspire me"... what bullshit hahahah

Wanna wear this:

Adios XO0

Halloween Pictures.... FINALLY

Finally, 3 days after Halloween we are over our horrific hangover!!! and the pictures have emerged!
Here are my favorites:

<3 I love my flatmates.
Oh and I dyed my hair and got extensions too haha look

YAY

I cba to blog. I have nothing exciting to say really apart from I have so much freaking work to do and for the last 4/5 days I've been eating everything in sight and now I feel gross.
Bleugh.
XO

It's impssible to let go of the only thing in the world that makes you truely happy.

WILLY

I warn you all I may be turning into a hermet. I just dont want to speak to anyone. It's been like this for about 5/6 days now. I've avoided all contact with anyone else I just cba tbh. Talking to people is so much effort. I guess it's because I know I dont have to try with anyone anymore... I dont have to make an effort to become friends with them because now I am.
I literally am so tired, after the play last night I came home and Skyped Rupert for AGES and before I knew it, it was 11. And I had LOADS of work to do. so I didn't get a good nights sleep last night. I kept getting up making lists (I say keep... I did it like, twice) of things I need to buy and things I need to do. My to do list is forever growing. It sucks.

The play last night was... as a play, shit. But the puppets (the real reason we were there) we fuckiiiiin amazing. Like I was literally in awe. Hopefully I can get to do something like that someday.

It looks like I'm going home AGAIN this weekend! Ruperts room mate is in a halloween thing at one of the colleges and its like £3 so I thought I would go. I think basically you get taken on a tour by a scary man and then lots of people run around and scare you and take you places hahah. Sounds good!
It's on thursday night so I'm heading home after college on thursday, and as I have thursday off, I wont be back till sunday!! Which is when THE PARTAY takes place. SO excited!!

I really wish I hadn't grown this horrible thing of not telling people what I think anymore. It sucks. I'm trying to get it back slowly... but I'm rude. This is who I am. and it's gone!!! I don't want to be nice!! It's really annoying to myself.
Basically what I just want to say to the majority of people is: I don't care for your opintion. Seriously, I know you're just looking out for me but I really don't give a fuck. Just let me get on with it and let me do it my way?
pleaaaaaaaaseeeeeeeeeeeee because even though you're being nice, it's REALLY annoying. Also theres a girl who just need to leave me alone. and another one who has already left me... and doesn't really seem to care, just because you have friends who are boring and want to grow up just so they can afford an aga. Great! I'm sorry I'm not as boring as them, but you're welcome to them.

Wow, that turned slightly nasty didn't it! Anyway!
So today... Im sculpting this mask, and I kinda zone out for about an hour because I'm really into it and not really concentrating on what I'm doing.... just doing it as and when I feel... I turned out with this........

A big plonking willy on the middle of his face. THIS IS NOT A NOSE CHLOE. THIS IS A PENIS.

I'm sure Freud would have alot to say about that.

This is actually what I was doing... (it's not finished yet)...

But now every time I look at it all I see is one great big willy

I'm going to bed. XO

Time for School!

Time for me to go to school! Good day to you all, I really want McDonalds! kdljgfgk mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm =]
I'm going to the theatre tonight to see Or You Could Kiss Me...
It's about the lives of two gay men in 70's South Africa, portrayed by puppets.... interesting huh?

Hopefully it will be good. But I have to come home alone which I am not so thrilled about.



I'll make sure I carry a corkscrew.

STOKED for Halloween on Sunday! gunna be epic! theres about 11/12 of us going to F*ck me it's halloween at Debut and it's gunna be SICK. I'm going as a dead gypsy tattoo and I can't fucking wait. Theres a foam room and a uv room and a paint room and a inflatable Velcro wall and an electric chair... cheap drinks.... ldlfkjzg weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!


OX

Dare You to Hate This

I know, I'm an idiot. Everyone knows. Decided to wait until Xmas to see what to do about the whole bf thing. It sucks. But I spoke to his friends and it defo wasn't like the girl made out. He's going to counseling for his issues about his mothers death/affection/lonelyness... hopefully this will make him better and we can get back together. He has until Xmas to change. I know this is very vague, but I cba to go into the fucking longs of the story.
Meanwhile, Here's a bum I made today hahaha

niiiiiiice and peachy!!! weyyy!!
The life model today was on her period and her tampon was hanging out. it was disgusting. like actually vile.
lkfjlkdsjflkdjeuuuuuuuuuuughh!

Im going to a party on saturday and the fancy dress theme is - your greatest fear orrrr your greatest fantasy....
I dunno what to go as?!!?!
Ideas?!

XO

This post is boring and annoying so don't bother.

So here I am....missing an important lecture, lying on my bad with frozen sausages on my eyes because guys are dicks, and I cried untill 3am this morning.
I got a lovely phone call last night from my boyfriend's - of two years - girlfriend. Neither of us knew about the other, neither of us knew that he was a complete and utter cunt. Nice to know that after he last came to visit me... he left me to go home to sleep with her. Great one.
Nice to fucking know that he appreciates all I've done for him.... letting him live with me and my family for a year, always trying to make him happy, pround, and generally just trying to be the best girlfriend. The fact that he has no respect for women is completely beyond me.
I'm generally just so surprised, he has never done anything to me.... we've never even had an arguement for fucks sake. Ever! In two years!
I'm obviously not enough for him and he obviously is just a complete liar and cunt.
It's just really hard because I know this is the end. I want more than anything to just forgive him and move on but I honestly don't think it's the right idea. My heart says I love him more than anything and my head says RUN. LEAVE NOW. RUN AWAY FROM HIM.
I hate everything. How dare he do this to me. How dare he fucking decide that it's ok to fuck me up and over.
I hate him.
I'm going back to my frozen sausages.
XO

I

Have quite alot to blog. I haven't for like 10 days now and thats BAD. So bad. But I've been either very very busy over the last ten days orrrr very drunk.
I've become addicted to green tea... It makes me feel so much better that I used to. I think my body hates me atm for not letting it sleep and filling it with intoxicators.
I have also spent alot of money since I last wrote. I've bought alot of crap and alot of food I don't need haha. Yesterday the internet/electricity/water all broke..... so I had to go all the way to lovely Orchid's house in Camden to take a shower. I was so annoyed. Nothing bloody works in London. Nothing! The fire alarms go off every other day and they're always at silly o'clock in the morning when I have to be up early the next day.
I bought some leather and suade gloves today and the most beautiful tassle bag from H&M. They are beautys. Ohhhh annnddd I joined lookbook.nu....how very pretentious of me I know.... but I want something else to do too now that I've quit tumblr. Piece of shit that was. Blogger you will always be the best!
I have to go to a lecture at 10pm tonight. LAME. EFFORT. It's aparently with someone way important from the industry and the only time he has free is tonight at 10pm. Jokes walking home down my street on the way back. I'll make sure to wear my chastity belt as so not to get raped... Danny is walking me though which is nice....but tbh with the way he looks he is probably more likely to get raped than me!
I'm going home on friday for the weekend... Spend lots of time with my boy =] yay. I'm well excited! (oh yeah and my parents.. lets not forget them hah oops) He came to mine last weekend but he wasn't even here for 24hours =[ so I didn't get enough of him!! haha.
Carmen is coming round tomorrow for the night and I'm taking her to vodka revolution hahahha I bet its a shithole. But all my flatmates are going, and it's the type of thing she would really enjoy so were going to tag along =]
I have to go do work now but I will post pictures soon I promise =]
Adios XO

Party in C4A

XO

Today has been a really good day...yesterday however, was horrid. I was really really missing Rupert and he is so busy and his phone is crap so I basically hadn't spoken to him for like, 2 days! But then I realised that I was just being selfish and I can't expect him to always have time for me. Especially when he is at Oxford. It's just really.......hard? different? going from living with him every day and then not speaking to him for 2 days. Anyway, as I said today has been really good. I had SUCH a laugh with the flatmates. They are all so funny. I haven't laughed like that since I moved in. I think it's because we are all finally comfortable with everything - surroundings, each other, uni, etc. I didn't really do much as the only scheduled thing I had today was a library induction for an hour at 4. It's really lame but the as soon as I got into the library I didn't feel out of place any more... it was really nice. I stayed there for about an hour and got some books out ahead of my first unit on sculpting the human form, and a couple others on mould making. They are really interesting and I feel like I've gotten a step ahead of my classmates. They all seem so relaxed about everything! I don't understand.... I've already read all the books for this unit and they took the piss out of me for being eager!! haha I'm such a geek!!! I did a really stupid thing though. While we were having the unit explained a few days ago, all I could think about was food! I literally didn't listen to a word she was saying... just dreamt about sandwiches and pasta. Because I did this I completely missed the fact that we have a fuck load of work to do and very little time to do it! (which I found out today when I re-read the handbook. The nice side of this however, is that now I can finally post some work on here!) Tomorrow I'm gunna have such a long to do list! I need to find this mythical art warehouse that everyone keeps talking about and buy a sketchbook. I need to buy folders, call Tiranti's... get my Oyster card. SO MUCH TO DO. The only down side to my course is that I have exactly zero days off a week. This means A) no lie ins B) spending my evenings working my socks off and C) no job.
Not gunna lie, money is tight... I can't afford to wash my clothes this week... (Lucky I have enough clothes to last a good 2 more weeks until I run out) and I only have £10 until Sunday. Which sucks. I need to save £5 for a nice bottle of vino for Friday night. Orchid is having a house warming party and Tasha is coming down from Bath to see me! - I can't wait!!
I think it's time I wrote a list of things to do. I wish my flatmate wouldn't keep getting his "secret" girlfriend over at night. We all blatantly know about her... I just don't think he knows yet!
Then it's time for bed.
Adios XO

I went home yesterday for the night... I kinda wish I hadn't but I'm also glad I did. I wish I hadn't because I had to say goodbye all over again which SUCKED...and coming back home on the train today was so horrible. Only spending one night with the boyf and having to miss him all over again untill the next time I see him... which is god knows when. But glad I did because I saw my Mama and we went shopping and had lunch and then Rupert and I went out for dinner and watched some really long film in German about Hitler's bunker which, actually, was really interesting! I had such a lovely time... and I wasn't even there for 24 hours! I just hate having to leave my parents and Rupert and my bed and my fridge! haha. But I do LOVE it here in London. I love my flat... and my flatmates! and I love the direction that my life is going in! it's just so exciting!! My heart literally tears in two whenever I go between London and Oxford. But I'm not really sad about it anymore.. I think I've just accepted it. I suppose the real problem is just me not getting what I want which is both (obviously impossible!).
On a lighter note... Sofia, my flatmate, has very kindly notified me about the new affordable collection at Marc Jacobs so to cheer myself up me and Neda will be going there tomorrow for some retail therapy =] I literally have spent mose of my evening thinking about it!! Thats so sad right?! haha

KOKO tomorrow night.. I'm excited!
I think I will dig out my long socks for it XO

Bed please.

I am literally the most tired girl in the whole of London.
I swear to god it's not an exaggeration. London is draining every last bit of energy I have.
On the plus side I've had a well good day.
We had a tour of the backstage area and the workshops of the National Theatre, which was really damn cool!! we saw people making props and the set and we got to watch the technical rehersal of hamlet (the opening night is in a few days time) I'm so excited about everything. It was amazing to see things being made, anndd there were like 3 people there who were ex students of my course. Working there full time! It was so cool.
Then I went to the freshers fair. Personally I thought it was really good but I know alot of other people didn't enjoy it. I got so much free stuff as well. Like an Urban Outfitters goodie bag which had a purse, washbag and some nai lvarnish in it. I love the purse. It's like black leather with flowers embroidered on it. What elese did I get...? Oh some free makeup (blue eye shaddow) and a que jump card for club Koko!! SWEET!
I actually have so much to say but I'm so tired.
I managed to get a return ticket home on the train for £7.60!!!!!!!!! This made me so happy yesterday! So I'll be home this Friday and then back on Saturday and I think Tasha is coming to stay on Saturday which will be good!
Tomorrow is the first freshers evening at Debut under London Bridge. I have a ticket but dont know if I can be arsed to go tbh. All my flat mates are going to the end of freshers party at Koko on sunday instead of tomorrow. meh oh well. dunmatter.

My goodies

And this is me being tired. Ha.
Oh yeah I nearly forgot... I joined the netball team... I wanted to join the cheerleading team but I was too embarassed and plus they were all really annoying and netball is fun and you kinda look like a cheerleader in the netball outfit........ I was good at netball in school.
Oh!!! and I forgot too.. I joined the life drawing society because its really cheap. £10 a term... It works out at £1 per session. Fuck yeah!

 Night all xOXOXOX x

Beugh. The last 2 days have been awful. Yesterday I had to finally say goodbye to my parents - which was horrid. My dad drove me and Rupert to the bus station in Oxford which is about a 20 minute drive from my house. I cried all the way there but I don't think neither my dad or Rupert noticed. I don't know what came over me at all... I don't think I even knew why I was crying. Anyways I got out of the car and my dad gives me the biggest hug and tells me to be careful etc... he left and Rupert and I waited for the coach to London. As soon as I got on the coach I just burst into tears and Rupert spent the rest of the journey trying to make me laugh - which was really nice.... he's very good at that. So then we got to my flat and we had a party for Rupert's birthday (which is today), and he went home today.
We spent most of today in bed watching the whole new series of Waterloo Road. It's sucha shit ridiculous program, but so addictive!! I walked Rupert to the tube station and then we spent about 15 min saying goodbye.... trying to leave... and failing... but eventually we left eachother successfully and it was just the biggest slap in the face ever. It was like the universe was like "HELLO! Look. You're alone now. In this HUGE city. BY YOURSELF." I camt back to my flat and just sat in my room and sulked. I have literally never ever felt this isolated. Even though there are all these fabulous people around me, and everyone is so lovely and kind and supportive of eachother - it still doesn't make me feel better. I went to the kitchen and a few of the girls were watching something on a laptop... I just made dinner and sat down, but I tryed so bloody hard to be upbeat... I don't think it worked though.
I think I've had a shit day because today was the day that it hit me. WTF am I doing in London? I LIVE here now. I moved out. No friends or family around... nothing. what?! Why am I doing this? I really don't understand my own thought process.
ajgakl Tomorrow is my first day and I'm bricking it.
I'm in the worst mood. I just want to be at home. With people who love me.
Argh.
x

Holga!

I got my pictures back from the developers and I'm quite pleased with them.... considering that I had no idea what I was doing and it was my first go. I learnt alot from it as well. Half the pictures I took didn't even come out but I think I know what I did wrong in all of them. I've scanned them in so here they are:

This was at Aldgate East tube station outside my halls in london.

This is my FAVOURITE. I didnt think this picture would come out because it was really dark and I used my fisheye lense. But I love it!

This was a complete accident.. I went to Manchester the week before I went out for dinner with Tasha and I forgot to wind the film on.. hah I like that we look like ghosts =] The next one down is from the Oxford fair but it came out really rubbish and yeah,,... probably my least favorite.

 An alleyway off Brick Lane in LDN where my halls are.

My favorite place in Oxford. The steeple of Exeter College and the Antony Gormley sculpture.




















Right, I'm off to sainsburys to buy wine.
Blog more tomorrow... I'm quite proud of myself.
XX

Morning

Hi guys. I'm in halls now and it's really nice =] I'm so pleased with my flat and actually the whole floor! We have fire escape doors at the end of each flat and theyre always open so its basically like one big flat Everyone is so lovely as well. I've heard some flats are really horrid and noone talks to anyone else in them. I suppose in that way I'm really lucky because we all get on so well. I'm a bit aprehensive about the fact that there are 9 girls and one boy on our floor.... Seeing as I'm not a very girly girl... and have more guy friends than girls.. I don't want to end up really ridiculously girly and gross. hahaha. I'm sure I wont though.
Rupert stayed with me on my first two nights and it was really fun. But I'm gunna be honest here - I was so glad to get the bed back all to myself!  Surprisingly I'm not really missing anyone yet... going for breakfast with Tasha and Mel on friday and it's the last time I'm gunna see them. Which SUCKS it's gunna be so weird after seeing them every few days for years. Thinking about it I've known Melissa for going on 9 years now!! and Tasha for nearly 4. Crazy... who am I going to moan to when I have a bad day?!

I really like this guys outfit.

I don't like the fact that those weird sheepskin coats are in atm. I just think they are sooooooooo gross. I really want... I dunno what theyre called but like a jock jacket? like a American high school jacket. SO BAD. but all the ones I've found are out of my price range.

Like this:

This girl is really hot huh?

I need to do something with my hair.. I'm so bored of it!!! I neeed to get extensions or SOMETHING. It's so dull! Gutted I couldn't go blonde.

I need to get dressed. I just remembered that maintainace are coming round to give me a new shower.... It seems to go everywhere but on me when I'm in it. Great one.

Also I'm meeting Orchid today which is very exciting!!

Hastas OX